Uganda and Ruffles

Maybe it wouldn't sound appealing to you, but I wanted to hear the Ugandan Professor's talk on "Restructuring the Social Work Cirriculum in Africa: the case of Botswana". I'm still not quite sure what he way saying- something about there being no governmental assistance of citizens and the difficulty of privitized social service. While his speech would make an interesting blog, I found myself more intrigued by the sociology of the room in which I was seated with 50 other random people than his expert analysis. And, while the man had a lot of knowledge, his thick monotone accent and complete inability to engage an audience made listening to the 2 hour lecture near impossible.

I will use the case of the Ruffles to explain the silent imprisonment we face as creatures of a social nature. When i originally sat down, I had no intention of eating, i actually felt more like throwing up (little did i know the flu was slowly taking over my body). I hadn't been seated for more than a minute, though, before the lady next to me leaned over to notify me that they were providing "free" lunch in the hallway...it wasn't so much of a nice gesture as i felt her real meaning was "hey girl, there is a FREE lunch in that room...i said free...if you don't go get one it must be because you think you're better than me, or thinner, or richer"...I didn't want to deal with the uncomfortability of sitting next to this woman for another hour without having gotten this free lunch. So i went and got it.

At this point, I think I need to at least try to explain the tension in the room. Postures, faces, gestures, and the extreme preoccupation with the lunch were all saying the same thing "Get me the H outta here!". However, it was much too early in the lecture for anyone to have a justifiable excuse for leaving early, so all had to endure it- but no one would do so happily. If anyone made a noise, shifted in their seat, went to the restroom, or tried to leave they were given death stares by all others in the room. These stares were only acceptable because of their ambiguity. Anyone could say the stare was out of respect for the speaker whom YOU just interrupted by making a noise, shifting, or leaving. However, beneath the surface, the stare was actually pure evny and hatred: "Who are you to think you can make a noise, shift, or leave when i have to sit here like a decent social being and endure this torture?". I even recall one women standing up to leave for a restroom break and accidentally nudged the empty seat next to her. Not only did several people turn around and deliver THE stare, but she had such a heavy look of shame upon her face i felt i should follow her into the bathroom to make sure she didn't punish herself- all for nudging a chair.

I spent a bit of time observing, analyzing, and stereotyping most members of the audience with the intention of getting a feel for their exact state of mind and pain at the moment; the bad student who needed to take notes but didn't know where to begin, the foreign student who had a hard enough time understanding native English speakers and couldn't make out a word of what the Ugandan was saying, the sorority girl who was anxious to check her cell phone messages, the campus worker who wanted their duties tied to this lecture to end. After I quieted my pity for practically every individual in the audience, I became aware of my own predicament.

I wanted to eat my Ruffles. I didn't want to eat anything, but the Ruffles and I had saved them for when i was truly bored. By this time, though, I knew the rules. NO noise- and we know how noisy opening a chip bag can be in a sea of angry and silent listeners. I scolded myself several times for not having opened the bag when everyone else had sanctioned a communal opening half an hour ago. I was the only one with an unopened bag and there would be no exception to allow me to open it and disturb the "peace". Now, I like to pretend that I'm above social norms, but I now know how foolish this is. I spent half an hour deciding whether or not to open the bag. About five or six times, I would get up the nerve to touch the bag or try to find a tiny tear to begin with...I even tried to poke it with a paper clip end ...It didn't happen though. I didn't get to open the Ruffles until after the lecture...and post-lecture chips are not half as satisfying as "Im bored to death" lecture snacks.

Maybe you think you wouldn't have submitted to the no Ruffle noise rule, or the no shifting in your seat regulation, but i can assure you that if you are a human being living in society, you wouldn't have left that lecture early without a heavy feeling of guilt and shame- for leaving your fellow man alone to preserve the norm that keeps us civil.