Monday, August 28, 2006

Coffee "Partner"

Some quick news.
I was in need of a part time job. A low pressure, willing to work around my soccer coaching schedule, with some employee perks part time job.
And I had this friend who loved working at Starbucks. Starbucks provides full time benefits for part time "partners" (since we can share in Starbucks "bean" stock we are considered partners rather than employees). I, then, happened to be downtown at a local starbucks having a small job fair. So i interviewed. I knew the girl interviewing - she had been in a Spanish class with me. And had been in Americorps.
Needless to say, things came together and I had a job offer in a couple of days.
I began training. I have a green apron now- which nicely outlines my pregnant belly.
Coffee tasting is part of the job, and of course, marking my thoughts on each coffee's aroma, flavor, body, and acidity- see Im learning already- in my Coffee Passport.
It's hard to swallow the backsliding from a non-profit community enhancing career minded job to a parttime, i dont even have a college degree yet, franchise.
But hey, Humility isnt bad when it comes with benefits!
Let me know what you think of Starbucks. I like their drinks, but I've never been one to actually purchase them- I cant even buy overpriced maternity pants, Im sure as heck not gonna be expensive coffee that goes in one end an out the other...they do, though, at least promote environmental and community awareness.
We shall see...Im also afraid of burning myself. Any thoughts on burns?

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Sad L word

It's a discouraging cycle. I have a few weeks off work before I start coaching. You'd think I'd be loving it, swallowing up every moment of pure "Eve" time without the noises of children or the stresses of work. Yet I find myself despairingly lonely. Why? I've been in my apartment alone alot. We just moved in and I've had to spend a good deal of time putting things in their proper place, cleaning, cooking, etc...Keith is working over 60 hours a week- both a parttime and fulltime job, so he's not home much. And it is just so freaking hot outside- which would be more bareable if it were not for my wicked allergies and growing pregnant belly.

I've been lonely before. Everyday we might feel it at some point . But the kind of loneliness I'm talking about is the kind that slowly creeps in as a constant feeling. I did feel it in college quite a bit, got out of it my last two years or longed for it after papers or long classes. It is harder to feel it now, though. After being newly married and knowing a baby is on the way that will keep me in the house alone for even longer hours. I think maybe a baby will help the loneliness, but I'm not so sure...

I asked someone I look up to how they deal with loneliness. This person is in a type of ministry that often leaves her drained and without real people that give back to her. She couldn't fully answer my question as to how to deal with the sick feeling other than to cry it out, to remind herself that loneliness is momentary, that there will be people later, that they are people even know that are loving her and thinking of her. She still feels it ,though.

I miss my cats. I miss my friends. I miss my husband. I miss fellowship.

So here are my questions, don't leave my mind lonely :)
-What is loneliness?
- When do people feel most lonely?
-How can we deal with it before it becomes a state of being?
- Is it possible that sometimes marriages, children, and jobs (that surround us with people)
can make us feel more lonely ?